Page 217 by Eilyn

Tuesday November 23rd—a day I had been anticipating for months. 

Eek! 

Finding the opportunity was extremely difficult. So I swore to myself I wouldn’t ruin it. It was my one shot to prove I was worthy of breathing the same air as someone who quite literally changes lives. 

I walked in catching that clean scent, you know the one you smell when walking into the doctors office. It shot up my nose, clearing out my sinuses in an instant. 

She greeted me with a cold glance, but I couldn’t blame her. Dr. ShahPatel’s a busy woman after all. The assistants, however, embraced me right away, asking questions about my life. It felt refreshing.

I heard a rustling and turned suddenly to a man, his body stretched out across the chair. 

Peering in like a curious child I watched, and from the corner of my eye, I saw it. It was ginormous. It looked about a foot long—a foot of full on torture. 

As the doctor drove the needle straight into his mouth, he winced and I felt the room start to spin. My mind was screaming STOP, but my body kept dancing, twirling around. I tried to make it to the wall, to give myself something to lean on to no avail.

My eyes opened as my head throbbed. 

Where am I? 

A billion figures surrounded me and a bright light above blinded me.

I burst out apologizing over and over. 

What happened to the patient? Did I mess up his procedure? 

Getting up quickly I stumbled to a seat. The assistant gave me water as I continued apologizing, wiping away my tears. 

How could I possibly be a dentist? Clearly I wasn’t built for this. 

I texted my mom, hoping she could save me from this embarrassing situation. I held myself together until I made it inside the car. 

Tears slipped down my cheeks. I felt weak. My mom tried to remind me it wasn’t my fault. Maybe my knees locked, or I didn’t drink enough water, or maybe I was truly just nervous. 

I contemplated. I wasn’t sure if I would go back, but my heart refused and commanded me to try again. 

I needed to let my fear drive my passion, not consume it. So two days later, guess where I ended up—back in the office, peering from the side in awe. This time though, I brought my water, kept my knees slightly bent, and reminded myself to take a breath. 

This time, I wouldn’t allow my fear to become an obstacle, but rather a driving force.